G. Bu and CSI Iraq

President George Bush, acting on advice from senior administration officials who want his views to be accepted by the younger generation, has let it be known he now wishes to be called G. Bu (in honour of J. Lo, whose quest to shatter Elizabeth Taylor's consecutive marriages record is well documented). G. Bu has had great difficulties of late in convincing young people that his policies regarding Iraq are correct. As has been noted earlier, the post-war name for Iraq, agreed upon by the US and Prince Charles (who like s to be called Charles III by intimate friends--especially Camilla, and Charley Three by his American pals), will be MS Iraq. G. Bu has put forth a proposal--to please American Youth, of temporarily naming Iraq by the popular CSI television show. Hence, before Iraq is fully integrated into Pax Amer/Britannia, it will be called CSI Iraq.

G. Bu has also had problems convincing other nations that a military invasion of Iraq is the only solution to Saddam Hussien's (aka 'Saddam') refusal to disarm (it may be noted the Iraqi leader has declined an offer to be referred to as S. Hu or even S. Dam). Privately, G. Bu has castigated France (whose claim to military fame lies in its ability to surrender at a moment's notice), Russia (that model of economic success), China (whose irrelevance in the whole matter is evident to all but themselves) and Germany (whose disappointment over their World Cup loss to Brazil has never fully been overcome). G. Bu feels these countries are being dishonest in not expressing the real reasons for opposing the US/British position--that their oil contracts with Iraq will be abrogated and the US and Britain will gain ascendency in the race to control the world's oil resources.

G. Bu remains optimistic however. He feels once the objections have been overcome (and the US's massive wealth virtually assures this) his only remaining obstacle will be Turkey's acceptance of US troops for the northern invasion of Iraq. G. Bu, in a brilliant move, has nearly come to terms with Turkey by assuring them that only ham will be eaten by Americans on Thanksgiving.