Iraq Prepares US Invasion

(UPI) Declaring that 'the game is up George', Iraqi President Saddam Hussien has issued orders for an invasion of the United States. Citing evidence gathered by 'Iraqi government sources' and other 'high-level administration officials' this journalist has been able to piece together an abbreviated list of alleged American transgressions. They are as follows:

Use of weapons of mass destruction:
-Multiple use of atomic weapons against civilian population centers (Hiroshima and Nagasaki).
Use of chemical warfare:
-Vietnam (commonly known as Agent Orange, used for 'jungle defoliation').
-Gulf War.
Direct involvement or tacit approval of political assassination in then client states:
-Chile (Allende).
-Vietnam (Diem).
-Iran (Mossadegh).
Wanton and indiscriminate killing and subsequent mass removal of populations or approval of client state's actions:
-American Indian or Native Americans (eg 'their own people').
-Over 1,000,000 civilian deaths in Vietnam-most notably the My Lai Massacre.
-Final Solution of Guatemalan peasants and Indians.
Failure to follow the decisions of world bodies such as the World Court and United Nations:
-This does not include US Senate vote not to join League of Nations.
Buildup of massive military forces:
-US will spend $360,000,000,000 on 'defence' this year-this total does not include possible war with Iraq).
US media's implicit acceptance of US government agenda:
-Massive converage into investigation of assassination of Polish priest Jerzy Popieluszko since Soviet intelligence agencies were alleged to be responsible.
-Virtual media blackout of responsible media investigative techniques in assassination of American nuns and Archbishop Oscar Romero in El Salvador--despite direct evidence of President Duarte's government, a client state.

Iraqi Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz has challenged the world to stand up to George and his American 'henchman' and also to his British lackey, Bambi Blair. 'The world can no longer countenance such insolent disregard of accepted international standards. It is up to the UN and the world to put a stop to US unilateralism. The time is now, the US has engaged in foot dragging and disinformation. Civilized nations will no longer allow this discredited regime to pursue the hegemony it now so ardently desires.' Questioned as to why Iraq did not act against the former Soviet Union when it was accused of similiar transgressions, Aziz replied that the United States was 'easier to invade and posed less threat of retaliation.' Further questioned as to whether this did not invalidate virtually all Iraqi claims, Aziz stated that any further information would be a 'breach of national security.'

US officials were not immediately available for comment.